Taking Thoughts Captive

Taking Thoughts Captive

Good Morning Friends,

I have been struggling lately. I have been struggling to find the time to do the things that I love; blogging and spending time with God. Sometimes I question, it is laziness or mental illness. There have been a few days where I do nothing but cry all day and other days where I do the bare minimum. I know that those are the symptoms of deep depression; the same symptoms that I experience at least once a month, so does that mean that I’m in denial?

When I go a period of time having really awesome days, I forget that I struggle with mental illness. I forget that one day, deep depression will come rushing back like a flood and try to destroy the hope that I have built up over the past few weeks. Even though it happens time and time again, I always feel thrown off and unprepared. Like, “wait, what? Why is this happening? Why am I so sad?” Then I have to claw my way out like a tiger trapped in a pit of sorrow and self-pity.

I’ve come to the realization that I have to push through and force myself to do the things that I love even though I may not “feel” like it. One thing that I have learned is that feelings lie to you. Feelings have the ability to make or break who you are and what you want to become. I will never become a successful writer if I only blogged when I felt like it. And even though I have a condition that makes it more difficult, I will not allow it to become a crutch nor an excuse for failure.

I see people using mental illness as a reason to feel sorry for themselves, for not accomplishing their goals, for being mean and disrespectful, or even falling back into harmful, risky behaviors. Mental illness is just like any other illness. Yes, it can cause limitations. Yes, it has the ability to delay goals and aspirations that you have set for yourself in life, but it is no different from any other illness that others face on a regular basis.

For those of us who struggle with mental illness, it does not define us or make us who we are. It’s just a challenge that we have and EVERYONE has a challenge that they have to face in life. It’s easy to feel sorry for ourselves and boo-who to and from the doctor’s office. It’s easy to allow the feelings of hopelessness to plague our minds and entertain the thoughts of suicide. I see so many of my brothers and sisters “talk” about how mental illness is ruining their life, but I see few talk about what they are doing to overcome it (besides taking medication).

How do we do that? How do we overcome the sad days and push through thoughts of suicide and hopelessness? The answer is right in front of us. BELIEVE IN JESUS AND HIS TRUTH!

I believe in Jesus’ truth because when I am doing well, when I am having good days, I believe that I am loved. I believe that life is worth living. I am able to look at up the clouds during the day and the stars at night and see the beauty of the universe. I am able to see how glorious it is to hear my children laughing and playing and causing all kinds of “kiddy hell” in their rooms. I can see that. But when the dark days come, I become wrapped in my own pity. I can only see how badly I’m hurting and how dark the world is.

Life isn’t about how dark the world is. The world has always been dark since the beginning of time, but there has always been beauty forged from the darkness; art, love, and redemption. You’ve had artist struggling with their own mental illness make history by painting, drawing, or singing about their pain. Lives have been changed for the better because of it.

Jesus is the truth. He is the way to true freedom (John 14:6). He is the light to get through the dark days. Darkness cannot outdo light. It’s virtually impossible. Allow Jesus into your heart and allow his light to shine through when those dark days come. When you don’t feel like doing what you love, press into Jesus who loves you! Take a breath and ask for strength to get through it because you know one day, you’re going to wake up and be able to see the beauty of life once again. That won’t be by chance or accident. It will be because of God’s mercy and love that he has for us.

Thank you for reading my thoughts today. Usually today I would post Funny Friday, but I had to get this off of my chest. Please remember to pray for one another. Love you all and God bless each and every one of you.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” -2 Timothy 1:7

Music is Life: What Now

Music is Life: What Now

Hey Friends,

I would like to share a song by Rihanna from her Unapologetic album, titled What Now. I love singing this song at the top of my lungs when I’m frustrated, hurt, happy, sad, or just in a singing mood. If you’ve never heard this song, I hope you enjoy it. As you know, music is such a huge part of my blogging life. It provides wonderful inspiration and allows me to tap into a place in my heart, I would otherwise try to hide.

What Now by Rihanna

I been ignoring this big lump in my throat
I shouldn’t be crying, tears were for the weak
The days I’m stronger, know what, so I say
That’s something missing
Whatever it is, it feels like it’s laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror
Whatever it is, it’s just sitting there laughing at me
And I just wanna scream
What now? I just can’t figure it out
What now? I guess I’ll just wait it out
What now? Ohhhh what now?
I found the one he changed my life
But was it me that changed
And he just happened to come at the right time
I’m supposed to be in love
But I’m not mugging
Whatever it is, it feels like it’s laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror
Whatever it is, it’s just sitting there laughing at me
And I just wanna scream
What now?

Music is Life

Hey fellow bloggers!

The last few days have been extremely busy. First, I was hit with an unexpected Lupus flare (which slowed down my “to do” list). Secondly, we’ve been very busy getting prepared for an upcoming family trip to Disney World. I’m super excited because this is really a dream come true for my family. I think my husband and I are more excited than our children.

Just to give you a visual. My husband and I reactions when we officially knew we were going:

What I thought my kids’ reaction was going to be:

Their actual reaction:

Honestly, I think they won’t believe it until they see it. We’ve had to cancel family trips in the past due to my illness or finances and I know how disappointed they were back then. So, I think they are holding their excitement. I do see, the closer we get to the leave date and the more we pack, the more excited they become.

Anyway, since I haven’t had that much time to put into blogging (hence the reason why I didn’t post yesterday), I wanted to share with you a very inspiring cover sang by one of our fellow bloggers, Haley with Red Letters Blog. I love listening to her while I blog. Her angelic voice is soothing, allowing inspiration to flow easily through my mind and spirit. I would recommend giving her a visit and a listen. Below is one of my favorite covers that she has done. You can also find her on YouTube, just click the video below.

 

There is so much inspirational music that I listen to on YouTube. Some you may have heard and some are hidden gems (like above). Starting now, I will be sharing that list. I believe that music is vital to the survival of humanity and without it, we would become, even more, emotionally disconnected…in my opinion.

So take a listen and have a wonderful rest of your evening (early morning to my friends overseas). Stay Blessed!

“Where words fail, music speaks.” -Hans Christian Andersen