11 Ways to Self Motivation

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One of the struggles that I face dealing with a chronic illness, is the idea that being sick will be the rest of my life. I began to feel like waking up with aching pains, eating only broth because it is all my body can handle, the rashes and constant infections, the extreme fatigue, expensive medications…will be the rest of my life? I slowly began to see more darkness than light. The light became so dim, that I thought I couldn’t see it at all. I even began to allow the darkness to completely take over me, but then I had a quick and swift wake up call. I will share this “wake up call”  in a future blog post. Honestly, it’s still so fresh and new, I’m not quite ready to share it with the world. That wound needs to heal first. Although it was a tough lesson to learn, I am so grateful that I learned it. It gave me the push I needed to attempt to climb out of the darkness.

 

The first step for me was to write down what I want; what are my short-term and long-term goals. I then folded up the ‘long-term’ list and placed it in a safe spot. I didn’t want to obsess about not meeting my long-term goals while in the middle of accomplishing my short-term goals. I am definitely the kind of person that attempts to rush the process. I’m working on that as well. My short-term goals are very simple. Sometimes I feel like they’re too simple.Then I remembered what once I have accomplished even the smallest goal, it will then give me the courage to conquer the next one. I did this to show myself that there are things to live for and not allow darkness to swallow me whole. See, darkness convinces you that you are not worthy of being great. Darkness tricks you into believing that your circumstance will never get better and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. I digress.

 

One of my short-term goals is to lower my stress. There are many causes of a lupus flare, one being stress. Honestly, I’m sure it is a large part as to why I experience a lot of flares. One way that I am lowering my stress is listening to motivational videos and speakers. I’ve mentioned it in a couple of posts before, so this should let you know how beneficial and awesome I think it is. I’ve honestly learned to have more confidence in my ability to move past what I am going through in this season of my life. I usually listen to random speakers on YouTube, but there is one speaker in particular that grabbed my attention the very first time I heard one of this speeches and I wanted to share it with you. 6 Keys to Self Motivation by Les Brown has given me the motivation is rise above my circumstance and get through this season of my life. Les Brown is a motivational speaker, author, radio personality, former television host, and former member of the Ohio House of Representatives. He has inspired millions of people around the world to improve the quality of their lives. Here I am talking like I’m a walking billboard. Honestly, I’ve just heard of this guy and I want as many people to know about him as possible. If you’re struggling to find motivation for anything, this is definitely for you. Below is a breakdown

11 Keys to Self Motivation by Les Brown  

1. Self-Mastery

You must always continue to work on yourself to achieve self-mastery

-The greatest human ability is being able to become more. Ex. A dog can’t be anything other than a dog. A tree can’t be anything other than a tree.

-You have unlimited potential

-Find something that you’re passionate about

-Find something that gives you a strong sense of completion in order to develop your reputation

-You can work on yourself by reading books that inspire you, listen to motivational audio first to start your day. Your mind is more reception in the morning.

2. Live with Passion and Energy

-Make a conscious effort to be lively

-Stay away from negative and toxic people

-SMILE!

-We have a lot to be grateful for

-Your level of passion and energy determines how much you will accomplish and how well you can do it

3. Know What You Want

-What do you want? Be specific

-The more you are aware of what exactly you want, your subconscious will begin to align with what you want

-Write it down and keep it with you. Writing is an exercise that engages your subconscious mind

-Read it every morning, noon, and night. Reading causes you to focus and concentrate on what you want

-When doubt begins to cloud your mind to tell us we can’t accomplish our goals, this practice will help you focus and discipline your thinking to more positive thoughts

-You are powerful!

-You are a miracle worker!

-Self-doubt has conditioned your mind to forget this

4. Develop a Health Plan

-You can’t feel well and do well if you’re not healthy

-Respect your body because you are worth it

-Your body is the only vehicle you have to get you through this life

5. Monitor Your Inner Conversations

-Take charge of your inner thoughts

-Don’t listen to self-doubt

-When they pop up, change your thoughts

6. Visualize

-See yourself beyond your circumstance with the challenge already resolved

-Think about how you will feel once your goal has been accomplished

7. Know That You Have a Purpose

Write down 5 reasons why you deserve your goal

-When your having self-doubt, read your 5 reasons why you deserve your goal as a reminder

-Know that life can be tough with challenging moments

-You need a purpose in your life to get through the tough times.

*Your purpose can be anything. God speaks of serving others if you need a place to start*

8. Master Your Skill

-Increase your level of confidence by finding something that you are passionate about and become the best at it

-Only compete with yourself and no one else

9. Be Relentless

-Recognize that you will go through hard times

-It doesn’t matter how hard you get hit, but that you get up to continue the fight

-In the face of hard times, BE RELENTLESS!

10. Take Action

-Don’t wait for the “right time”

-The ideal situation does not exist

-Take action now towards your goals

-If you believe it, you can see it

-Don’t become discouraged if others do not see what you see

11. Focus On Something Larger Than Yourself

-Find a cause to contribute to that makes a difference

-It will drive you to become more, to become better.

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” Les Brown

Learning Life’s Journey

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Turning 30 has given me a different perspective on life. The amount of awareness that I’ve experienced has been a little overwhelming. A small example; I used to be one of those people who hated the idea of having insurance. Any kind of insurance; car insurance, renters insurance, medical insurance. I thought, why pay for something that might NOT happen to you. Then I turned 30. Now the idea of insurance is a necessity, something I refuse to live without. I remember last month our car insurance lapsed for 30 hours and I was in a panic. All I could think about was how it would just be my luck that I would get into a car accident on the ONE day I didn’t have insurance. I blame this fear on life experience (being in an accident without car insurance and dealing with that hell) and turning 30.

There are a lot of other things that I was used to doing and saying, that now hold a different meaning, a different value. Take love for instance. I thought love was kissing someone and being filled with unexplainable emotion (lust). I thought love was “feeling” like you would do anything for that person, no matter the circumstance. I honestly thought that wedding vow was just something romantic to say to get people teary-eyed and “awwww” mode. When in fact, it is a warning. It is a warning that life is going to get hard, really hard. And the person standing in front of you is supposed to be there no matter what. They even ask you if you’re sure if you can keep the commitment. Honestly, my first marriage, I didn’t understand that. When people told my ex-husband and I that we should wait to get married, I didn’t see why. I was forced to grow up quicker than the average kid. So, I thought I had everything figured out. I thought if I knew what I wanted and did everything to accomplish it, then my life would be great, right? Wrong! Double wrong! Triple wrong! Life is a journey, it develops in stages. Just because I was more “mature”  than the average 21-year-old, I definitely didn’t know about marriage. My life’s journey hadn’t come to the part where it taught me how to love my husband and conquer life’s challenges. Eventually, getting through my 20’s and a shit load of mistakes, I now know what it takes. I know what love truly is and I know what it isn’t.

I love my husband. I love my mother. Both are two very different people that I’ve had to learn to love despite who they are without judgment. We say we want unconditional love until you find out he/she has the ability to hurt you like no other person walking this earth. Or that the person you love has some weird fetus that you knew nothing about. (Not me, of course, just saying 🙂 )

I like to read comments on Instagram about celebrities breaking up for whatever reason. It’s funny to read what others think about love and marriage. You see comments like, “I would never put up with that.” or “He/she wouldn’t be able to treat me like that” or my favorite “I would leave if he/she ever did that.” If you love someone unconditionally and they show you a side of themselves that you didn’t know anything about (I’m talking something like a porn addiction, not spousal abuse) and you leave them without helping them through it, then why did you marry them? Why did you repeat those vows to your partner? Now I know that love is waking up next to the same person every day, not wanting to kill them. It’s waking up next to them being just as committed to them as you were on your first date, hell, even your wedding day. It’s learning something new about them every day and love them despite how it may annoy you, hurt you, or disappoint you. Love is working through the tough crap, the really tough crap! The “I don’t know if I can do this anymore” crap and loving them despite. Love is accepting any change that life throws your way and working through it together; mad, sad, whatever. You do it together, for the sake of your love, your marriage, and your family. It’s realizing that your relationship is bigger than what you want or need. It’s about someone else’s needs. My husband and I have been through a lot, but I would trade it in for anything in the world. Our trials were hard, but they taught us how to love each other so much more and appreciate each other so much more. So when we say “I love you”, it’s not just something we say out of habit. We’re really saying, “Thank you for sticking around and appreciating me. Thank you for loving me despite my flaws and secrets.” We know the worst parts of each other and that is what makes our love so strong. We know that whatever we face from here on out, we got this, cause we’ve been through worse.

Life is a journey. You can’t rush it, you can’t force it. No matter what you think you know, trust me, you don’t know the half of it. We may plan our journey, but God may have other plans. When He throws your plan out of the window and set His in place, it would be in your best interest to follow it. I thought my marriage to my ex-husband was a good idea, not knowing my current husband is what God wanted for me and I’m so grateful that His plan was way better than mine.

I now see insurance as something to have WHEN an event happens, not IF it’s going to happen. Life is one tricky bitch. The moment you think you have her all figured out, BAM! a curveball smacks in the face. Plus, life doesn’t discriminate. No matter who you are, life will happen! I never understood that until recently. I can admit to that. It makes it easier to not look at life’s challenges like something is happening to you when in fact, who isn’t it happening to? Everybody I know, right now, is going through something life-altering, but trust your journey, grow from your journey. You will notice your perspective has changed and that have you made progress, no matter how small you may think it is. 

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”  -Mandy Hale