Life Still Happens

Hello Dear Friends,

It’s been a minute, eh? Well, over a month to be exact. My issue started in the middle of April when I began to experience a Lupus flare. If you are new to my blog, please read click here to see what it’s like to have Lupus. The emotional rollercoaster you experience during and after a flare, to me, is the worst part. At any moment, your mind becomes vulnerable to attacks that you thought you have overcome. Staying strong becomes more difficult by the day, by the hour, by the minute, by the second. Until, finally, you’re sulking in days old dirt because you don’t have the energy to shower.

Your mind begins to play on tricks on you. You begin to wonder what’s the point of fighting if this is going to be your life every few months. Then you begin thinking about the fight, what it entails. The reaching, the clawing, the crying out for help, for redemption, for air, for anything besides physical and mental anguish.

You pick up the phone for support, but then you think, people are tired of hearing the same cries from you…”I’m in pain. I need help. Please pray for me.” Day after day you begin to sink lower and lower into the abyss of self-pity and hopelessness. You cry out asking, God why aren’t you here with me. You softly here Him say, “I AM here with you. I love you, I adore you, I miss you.” But you don’t believe Him because you feel alone, you feel the pain, you want to feel nothing.

Your children look at you with pain in their eyes, trying to figure out when things will go back to normal. Your spouse becomes overwhelmed with work and housework since you are unable to lift a finger. You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling begging God to just end it already. You aren’t made for this life. You aren’t “it”. You wait for the day to magically feel better, but that day never comes.

There are so many things you want to do, but your body and mind won’t let you do it. So you find yourself at step one; growing closer to Christ because he has saved you in the past and he will save you again. But even praying has become a chore. So you pick up your bible, you say the words, hoping, believing that God has sent his Angel warriors to fight whatever is holding you down, even if it’s yourself.

This is it. This is life. This is the fight. Minus all of the outside drama and responsibilties that has to be done because life doesn’t care if you’re sick. Life doesn’t care if you are experiencing mental anguish. Life still happens.

 

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18 Comments Add yours

  1. We’ll be keeping you in Prayer Sis. I hope you’re felling better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I truly appreciate your prayers. I have faith that God will deliver me from whatever is going on.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Praying for you Sis!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day. ❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure!!! This is what the Lord’s called the body of Christ to do, pray for and support one another!!

        “From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work…Ephesians 4:16

        Liked by 1 person

  3. JoAnn says:

    No, unfortunately life doesn’t always care if you’re sick. I’ve found that to be true as well. I hope you’re feeling better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you friend for reading my post and giving your input. I know I will be healed one day. I just have to be patient. I appreciate you taking the tome out of your day. God bless you

      Liked by 1 person

      1. JoAnn says:

        No problem! 🌈🎈🍃

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Sorry you’ve been so sick. Praying for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Your prayers are appreciated

      Liked by 1 person

  5. God causes you to prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers. His healing power flows through you and make you whole again. Watch out for a miracle!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Amen! Thank you ❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Is it interesting how different our mental anguish can be from life on the outside and vice versa? I hope you feel better soon. Sending you warm healing energy!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and well wishes. I am feeling a lot better thank you. I hope you’re having a wonderful day

      Liked by 1 person

  7. You know just this week, or last week the Holy Spirit placed you on my mind to pray for you and I obeyed Him immediately. I was saying its so long I haven’t heard from you via the blog etc. It’s very true, life sure does happen but God is bigger than it by far. Rest in these verses, Psalm 34:19 , Romans 8:18, 2 Corinthians 12:10. ❤ Jesus you are the great healer. I ask that you cover my sister's body that is your temple from the very crown of her head to the soles of her feet with your mighty healing power in Jesus name. Touch her heart, mind, soul and emotions. Let your peace that passes all understand keep her mind and heart in perfect peace in Christ Jesus Lord Amen. Will continue to pray for you sis! Stay strong, font give up. Blessings.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow! Thank you for obeying the Holy Spirit and praying for me. I know prayers work, so I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for the scriptures as well. They really lifted my spirits today. I love you and I will continue to pray for you as well.

      Like

      1. Amen. Yes! It sure does sis! We need to continue to pray for each other as you always say at the end of each posts! 🙂 bless God, you’re most welcome! Good to hear that, bless Jesus! You’re welcome. Awww ❤ thank you sis.

        Liked by 1 person

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