Spiritual Enlightenment Uncategorized

Taking Thoughts Captive

Good Morning Friends,

I have been struggling lately. I have been struggling to find the time to do the things that I love; blogging and spending time with God. Sometimes I question, it is laziness or mental illness. There have been a few days where I do nothing but cry all day and other days where I do the bare minimum. I know that those are the symptoms of deep depression; the same symptoms that I experience at least once a month, so does that mean that I’m in denial?

When I go a period of time having really awesome days, I forget that I struggle with mental illness. I forget that one day, deep depression will come rushing back like a flood and try to destroy the hope that I have built up over the past few weeks. Even though it happens time and time again, I always feel thrown off and unprepared. Like, “wait, what? Why is this happening? Why am I so sad?” Then I have to claw my way out like a tiger trapped in a pit of sorrow and self-pity.

I’ve come to the realization that I have to push through and force myself to do the things that I love even though I may not “feel” like it. One thing that I have learned is that feelings lie to you. Feelings have the ability to make or break who you are and what you want to become. I will never become a successful writer if I only blogged when I felt like it. And even though I have a condition that makes it more difficult, I will not allow it to become a crutch nor an excuse for failure.

I see people using mental illness as a reason to feel sorry for themselves, for not accomplishing their goals, for being mean and disrespectful, or even falling back into harmful, risky behaviors. Mental illness is just like any other illness. Yes, it can cause limitations. Yes, it has the ability to delay goals and aspirations that you have set for yourself in life, but it is no different from any other illness that others face on a regular basis.

For those of us who struggle with mental illness, it does not define us or make us who we are. It’s just a challenge that we have and EVERYONE has a challenge that they have to face in life. It’s easy to feel sorry for ourselves and boo-who to and from the doctor’s office. It’s easy to allow the feelings of hopelessness to plague our minds and entertain the thoughts of suicide. I see so many of my brothers and sisters “talk” about how mental illness is ruining their life, but I see few talk about what they are doing to overcome it (besides taking medication).

How do we do that? How do we overcome the sad days and push through thoughts of suicide and hopelessness? The answer is right in front of us. BELIEVE IN JESUS AND HIS TRUTH!

I believe in Jesus’ truth because when I am doing well, when I am having good days, I believe that I am loved. I believe that life is worth living. I am able to look at up the clouds during the day and the stars at night and see the beauty of the universe. I am able to see how glorious it is to hear my children laughing and playing and causing all kinds of “kiddy hell” in their rooms. I can see that. But when the dark days come, I become wrapped in my own pity. I can only see how badly I’m hurting and how dark the world is.

Life isn’t about how dark the world is. The world has always been dark since the beginning of time, but there has always been beauty forged from the darkness; art, love, and redemption. You’ve had artist struggling with their own mental illness make history by painting, drawing, or singing about their pain. Lives have been changed for the better because of it.

Jesus is the truth. He is the way to true freedom (John 14:6). He is the light to get through the dark days. Darkness cannot outdo light. It’s virtually impossible. Allow Jesus into your heart and allow his light to shine through when those dark days come. When you don’t feel like doing what you love, press into Jesus who loves you! Take a breath and ask for strength to get through it because you know one day, you’re going to wake up and be able to see the beauty of life once again. That won’t be by chance or accident. It will be because of God’s mercy and love that he has for us.

Thank you for reading my thoughts today. Usually today I would post Funny Friday, but I had to get this off of my chest. Please remember to pray for one another. Love you all and God bless each and every one of you.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” -2 Timothy 1:7

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19 comments on “Taking Thoughts Captive

  1. Amen! I’ve been through days like that yes in this year. Ha! And when those thoughts of Satan started to plague my mind with lies, I started whipping him good with the Word of God and all flee in the mighty name of Jesus! I raised up and was able to soar like an eagle again. Whenever he comes, use the Word of God as our Savior did. Jesus! Pray and pray like never before! You’ll get through it and will testify! Blessings and grace to you ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 5 people

  2. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling Ashley. Looks like we’re in the same boat. I was doing fairly well, then suddenly I was sinking again. I’m thinking about my “theme song” a song from the movie “Trolls”: ” Get back up again,” but for some reason this season has been smacking me down so often that I’m staying down too long. I’m trying to wrap my mind around things again. Thanks for sharing. It helps to know that I’m not the only one who is feeling this way because I tend to internalize and blame myself. Yeah… I’m struggling. I will pray for you. It’s not easy to fight back. We need God’s help to keep on keepin’ on.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Thank you, Ashley, for sharing these helpful thoughts on how to overcome our difficult challenges!
    You’re right that self pity just keeps us in bondage and has to be kicked out of our minds if we are going to be able to get up and try again.
    The wonderful love of Jesus is, indeed, the best inspiration to have hope when we truly believe that He loves US. Through Him we can carry on!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Some days are more about determination than progress. My pastor used to tell us that “Life is like a ferris wheel. You might be low today

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Some days are more about determination than progress. My pastor used to tell us that โ€œLife is like a ferris wheel. You might be low today But you’ll be back on top soon”

    Hang in there and God bless your journey โค

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Some days are more about determination than progress. My pastor used to tell us that “Life is like a ferris wheel. You might be low today would you be back on top soon”
    Hang in there and God bless your journey

    Liked by 2 people

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