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September Theme: Who Are We To God? Part 2

Hey Friends,

When I was 12 years old, I found out that I had a family in my hometown on my dad’s side of the family. Just to briefly tell you, my dad is what you would call a rolling stone. (If you don’t know what a “rolling stone” is, please refer to The Temptations Papa Was A Rolling Stone.

I am one of the numerous children spread across the country and needless to say my father was never around. He would come to my town and visit once every couple of years. He would stay a few hours and get back on the road as a commercial truck driver. One day, my father called me and told me that his brother and his wife moved to the city I lived in and they wanted to meet me. I was so excited and nervous at the same time.

After I met them, we immediately clicked. My uncle was like the father I always wanted. He was caring, funny, easy to talk to, and only lived 30 minutes from where my mother and I lived. As the years passed, my uncle would express his distaste for how my father treated me. He promised me on numerous occasions that he would never leave me…that he would always be “my dad”. And although I had my reservations, I trusted him.

A few years had gone by and my aunt and uncle decided to get a divorce. My uncle soon after met his current wife and decided to marry her. Then, I didn’t like his new wife, not because of anything she had done, but because she became the new center of his world and I felt extremely neglected. I thought she was taking my uncle away from me and that he would do to me what my biological father had done to me. So I became bitter.

Related Post: September Theme: Who Are We To God?

One day, I decided to express my feelings to my uncle. I let him know that I felt like his new wife was becoming more important than me and my young children, and the reasons why I felt that way. Looking back, I can see how I was being a brat. How I was allowing fear of rejection bring up issues from my biological father and how they were interfering with my relationship with my uncle and his new wife.

He then told me that since I didn’t like his new wife, that I could no longer be in his life. And that he was officially disowning me. At that moment, I’ve never felt so rejected and foolish in my life. I was truly heartbroken. I felt foolish because I knew I shouldn’t have believed him when he told me he would never leave like my father did. I thought I should have trusted my instinct and never allowed him into my heart. Again, I have another “father” who didn’t want me. And for what? What was so wrong with me? What did I do so bad to be disowned by, not one, but two fathers?

After this, I said I would never trust another man ever again. And I didn’t. It’s been 13 years and I still have trust issues when it comes to men and the “promises” that they make.

I started to notice that I began to see God as another man that I couldn’t trust. The only difference is, I love God so much and I want to make sure that I do everything I can so that he doesn’t disown me, too. Every time I would mess up, I would beg God for his forgiveness. I would even mumble under my breath, “Lord please don’t abandon me. I can’t lose you, too.”

This showed that I didn’t have a clear understanding of who God is and who I am to God. Why? Because…

  1.  God never breaks a promise – God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? Numbers 23:19
  2. God promises to never leave us – So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deut. 31:6
  3. He never changes his mind – Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
  4. God loves us more than we could ever comprehendBut God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) Ephesians 2:4-5

Sometimes I still think about the last moment that I had with my uncle. Maybe I could I have said something different. Maybe I could have not said anything at all. I don’t know. I like to believe that everything happens for a reason and maybe one day we could speak to each other again. But until then, I am choosing to rely on the one relationship that I know will never fail, and that is with my Abba Father, my Daddy, my Yahweh, and my Jehovah.

If you have lost a bond or relationship with someone, please know that it will never happen with God. The enemy will try to trick you into believing that you have to be perfect in order for God to love you. But scripture says that God loved you before he even made the world (Ephesians 1:4).

Thank you all for reading my thoughts. I truly appreciate each and every one of you who take the time out to read my mess of a life. I love you, God loves you, and please remember to pray for one another.

“We are saved by how we believe, not by how we behave.” -Neil T. Anderson

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26 comments on “September Theme: Who Are We To God? Part 2

  1. Thanks for sharing this Ashley. I may need this for a brother in Christ who was abandoned by his father too. He’s always struggled with this, and has struggled with trusting God. If you could please pray for Him I would really appreciate that. You have my prayers as well. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. God is using you to bring about His kingdom and spread His light. This gave me chills, thank you for sharing ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great advice, my friend. We can trust God, His mercies and grace are everlasting

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great post, Ashley ❤️❤️

    Regards
    Dee Kay

    PS – Check your mail

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have a “girl next door ” in my life. She was the closest thing to a real sister that I ever had until another guy took her away from me. (She got married) I felt like I was kicked in the gut. (Never told her)
    I have spent a lot of time trying to fill that emptiness. I can count on one hand the number of guys who I allow into my “inner circle ” but in every situation I seek out a “girl next door “

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Amen and Amen! God will NEVER LEAVE US! He’s so awesome and forever remains the same no matter what lies the enemy may try raise against us! Thank you so much for sharing your testimonies/life with us. I pray for peace and reconciliation with you and your uncle. Blessings, grace and peace!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Thank you for this heartfelt post! I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. No child should ever be neglected by a parent. I understand your situation as I don’t have a good relationship with my father for the same reasons. I also have trust issues. But my relationship with Jehovah has helped me tremendously. His love, mercy, graciousness, and underserved loving kindness have drawn me closer to Him than anyone else. I’ve found Psalms 27:10 to be so true that “Even if my own father and mother abandon me,Jehovah himself will take me in.” We are truly blessed to have a loving Heavenly Father.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Im so glad that you are able to feel Gods love. It is the more precious thing that humankind has access, too. Thank you for your kind words. I pray you are having a wonderful day. 🙂

      Like

  9. Great post! I love your 4 points! Amen!

    Liked by 1 person

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