mental illness spiritual Uncategorized

How I Got Rid of Toxic People In My Life

hb1tf1aAbout ten years ago, I allowed a close family member to break my heart. So, much so, I was bedridden with grief for about two days. It was hard for me to overcome because I couldn’t wrap my head around why she would betray me. I didn’t do anything to her to deserve it. She saw an opportunity to take advantage of my kindness and took off with it like she was Usain Bolt. It left me feeling worthless because, at the time, I truly felt like she genuinely wanted to build a relationship with me. It was all I was praying for; understanding and love from someone I grew up with.

42-23039081Needless to say, that wasn’t the case. Fast forward to 2017, this same person needed my help again. I should have said no. She is a toxic person. You couldn’t deny the energy in the room turning sour once she entered it. It was a stench that you couldn’t ignore. She was someone that couldn’t be trusted, but I thought that was in the past. So I helped. Sometimes, I ask myself why did I bother. She would only turn around and do the exact same thing she did years prior. This time, it hit me even harder. I was already going through and hard time and bam! Here she was with her shenanigans.

At the beginning of this post, I said I allowed her to break my heart. I say I allowed it because I feel that people will only do to you what YOU allow them to do. I knew how she was (both times), but I thought that she had grown into a better person. I was wrong. She played me like a cheap violin. While she was basking in the glory of my pain, I was letting out the real pain of betrayal and heartache.

I had to figure out, what does God say about toxic people? How do I NOT allow them to affect me so much? What do I do about them? How do I get “over it”? I prayed every day to become the kind of person to brush things off as easily as she brushed me off, but I had to learn to get through it and here is how.

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I came across a book that would answer most of my questions. It’s called How God Sees Your Struggles by Lynn R. Davis. In the first chapter, she makes explains how God wants us to handle toxic people and their foolishness. Below are the lessons that I learned to get rid of her and other toxic people in my life and here is how you can too:

  • Stop allowing yourself to get worked up about what other people think, say, or believe about you.

“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict; walk away. The battle they are fighting isn’t with you. It is with themselves.”                -Anonymous

  • You are a beautiful creation of God. The only opinion that matters is His and His alone. God wants you to know that you were not created to be abused, used, mistreated, or mocked.

“What is the price of two sparrows-one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid ; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows?” -Matthew 10:29-31

  • You will never have peace if you do not overcome your need to please people and expect to maintain your health, peace, and sanity.
  • Do not allow yourself to get sucked in by other peoples foolishness.
  • Do not allow them to pollute your faith.

“Unfriendly people care only about themselves; they lash out at common sense. Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.” -Proverbs 18:1-2

  • Toxic people will try to make you stoop down to their level. Do not allow them to do this. It will only cause more stress and heartache for you in the end. Although it’s hard, walk away. Only speak in love, let it go, walk away, and pray for them. They are miserable, not you. Give it all to God.
  • Do not waste your time and tears on toxic people. If you do, you will never have peace. Only God can change their hearts.

“When a wise man has controversy with a foolish man, the foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest.” -Proverbs 29:9.

  • Stay encouraged for doing the right thing. As long as your heart is right with God, so will your actions. Don’t worry yourself about how to get back at the people that attack you. God will deal with them as He sees fit.

“The way of the Lord is a stronghold to those with integrity, but it destroys the wicked.” -Proverbs 10:29

  • Toxic people bring destruction on themselves. Spend time in prayer and meditation so you don’t allow yourself to get sucked up in their chaos. Once you’re sucked in, it’s hard to get out. You will then find yourself reaping the benefits of their turmoil.

After following the do’s and don’ts of dealing with toxic people, I can say that I have peace. I love my close family member, as I should, but that is as far as our relationship goes. I pray that she is able to let go whatever is causing her so much misery, but until then, I can’t deal with her and now that I know my worth, I refuse to. I used to feel bad about it, but now I don’t. God says that I have to love her and pray for her. He doesn’t say anything about me taking abuse from her or anyone else. Sometimes I have to ask God to give me the desire to pray for her. That way, I can heal from her destruction and move on.

I hope you are able to let go of the toxic people in your life. Trust me, you will be better off. If you are interested in reading her book, you can find it on Amazon by clicking HERE. You can read it for free by downloading the 30-Day free trial Kindle Unlimited by clicking HERE. It’s worth it and honestly, this is how I was able to read it. Thank you for reading my thoughts. God bless you all.  

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23 comments on “How I Got Rid of Toxic People In My Life

  1. Thanks so much for sharing this. I can’t tell you how much it’s helped me. I’m currently going through a really tough time with my niece who is behaving terribly with the whole family. She’s behaved in a toxic way for a while but I am refusing to let it steal my peace. Blessings to you and so glad you have overcome too!
    Hayley 😊💕

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve been through exactly the same thing …. not once but twice. What a mug I felt. I should have learnt. I should have known better. Surely I leopard can change its spots? Apparently not. It made me distrust people for a long while. Thanks for your post.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I still have problems trusting people. Lol. It’s really hard to trust when you’ve been burnt so many times, especially by the same people. Thanks for reading, dear. I hope you’re doing better ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is such a beautiful message. Thank you for sharing. I had such a toxic relationship and this article helped me understand how to face it

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This is so relatable. There was a time not long back where I was in real dilemma and it was too serious. I also came across a book ‘Demian’. It was if the protagonist was me. That book paved a whole new way for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ❤️ this post so much & I definitely feel like I can relate. I’ve recently just reached a point in my life that’s truly made me realize that it’s not necessary to rebuild a relationship with everyone you’ve forgiven. It’s really not. Just because you’re finally happy & at peace doesn’t mean those same people still aren’t toxic. I actually wrote a blog on it myself “The Dangers of Toxic People & Benefits of Letting Them Go.” I’ve realized that some people you have to just let them go for good, especially those that never had your best interest at heart to begin with. However, some of the toxic people in my life happen to be FAMILY and I could never truly cut them off for good but I do love them from a distance!! There’s power in loving people from a distance. I wrote a blog on that as well. Check my page out sometime when you get a chance! I look forward to following you. I thought this post was very interesting & relatable to me personally. Thanks for sharing ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I understand “Toxic” well. TY

    Liked by 1 person

  7. First off, I love your new blog design and this is, in fact, a relatable post as we’ve all come across such people and we are torn about how to proceed. I pray to God every day to dispose of my pride which consequently leads to quick anger as I cannot tolerate foolish people and I’m happy to say through his word, I am noticing the change in me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m so glad you like my new design. It’s definitely a work in progress. And yes, Gods word is always great when looking for answers and hope. Thank you for reading dear. I pray God continues to bless you! ❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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